Gotta Fight with GOD
Today I was in very desperate mood, and as it always happens, there was no other place but GOD where I could turn to and talk to my problems. Though the thing is that HE always listens me silently, never replies, but at least I know that there HE is, always ready to listen. But today it was more dense conversation; I was in no mood to talk to but to fight with HIM. But why?
Here it goes how this fight started and ended and you may find the reason.
I was sitting in my room, silent, just to be with my own self, that is what I have offered him as a place to come so I could talk to HIM. The moment I remembered him, tears started flowing from my eyes. Don’t know why I get only tears to offer him. I asked him as my tears were coming down silently – “Why you have kept me in such a place where I don’t find a moment of comfort and peace? You know well I am always with your will and do what ever you want me to do. I am always ready to do what you say, and never complain what comes in my way. It is your wish and you know I love fulfilling your wishes. But tell me; just tell me, how can I live without seeing you? It is the only pleasure for me that can give me strength and power to act as per your wishes. And you want me to be alone here, living without your sight?? It is being unbearable now; I want nothing but to be with you, keep my head on your lap and go to sleep, deep sleep, never to wake up again. Now the works you want me to do, are being so difficult, so heavy, these are just out of my capacity. Tell me, no one cares for me apart from you, and now you are forgetting me. Whom I can ask but you? Tell me where can I go? “
“I am always with you dear. Why are you being so desperate? “
“You are not, I never see you, and without seeing you, I am unable to do anything “.
“You are here to do some jobs only you can do. That is why I have kept you here. The problems, the restlessness, the pain you are facing, are just some clues. With the help of them you will be able to understand your job and will work upon it. It is necessary or I could never let it happen.”
“What kind of a job it can be which needs so much trouble and pain without even acting upon the job? You are just kidding me, you still think I am a kid you will tell any fairy tale and I will accept it?”
“The way to understand the job goes through this all dear. Why you suspect it? Until it comes to your way, you will not be able to understand. The moment you will see the sight of me, you will forget your job that is why I am hidden from you. Do you think I don’t love you?”
“Yes, now I think so, you don’t love me, and I can’t live without you ……..”
“Do you love your kids?”
“Yes I do.”
“Then why do you send them to other cities, why do you send them even school?”
“They have to learn something so they can be self-dependent and live with respect.”
“And why do you tell your elder kid to take care of younger one while you are busy with something?”
“Because I love all my kids, and I don’t want my younger ones to suffer only because they are younger and they don’t know how to work for them. So I assign some job to my elder kids. “
Don’t they feel problem performing the work, taking care of younger sibling?”
“Yes, they do, but they love me and they love siblings, so they do it “
“Do they complain about it?”
“Yes, sometimes, but I am always here with them. If they need me, I am here. “
“So tell me, if only because they have to work, they have to go outside and live without you, they have to learn something that requires hard work, and does it mean that you don’t love them?”
"No, I love them, no other way I could think about them, they are my own.”
“So dear, you know what I mean. I have faith in you, that is why I have assigned some jobs to you. But to perform the job, you have to go through some tough times. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you. I love you so much that I feel comfortable assigning some of my responsibilities to you. There are my other kids; you need to do some work for them. But my love is always with you. Parents love all kids in equal way, but the ones who take some responsibilities of their parents out of their love for parents, are more close to parents.”
“I am unable to understand how can I perform any job when I am unable to take my own responsibility. I am unable to live here where you are not present. No one cares for me, and now you also don’t ……… “
“Who says no one cares for you? The ones you care for, do they understand what you do for them? They are little ones; they are not able to understand. Once they grow, they will know. Like wise you are not able to see you are being taken care of. My other children are taking care of you and they are always with you, I am always with you. “
“But I am unable to see you, and this is the reason I don’t find any comfort, any peace anywhere…..how I will be able to do any good for anyone?’
“You don’t see me, because you are not mature enough to stand with your job, with yourself after seeing me. You need to work out your jobs. I am always here; like a mother hides from the sight when her kid starts going to school, so he won’t start weeping for mother, and stop going school, I am hidden from you. The moment you have learnt and mature enough you will be able to see me everywhere.”
“Really?”
“Yes”.
“And what is the job assigned to me? I don’t see any reason, any power in me to perform any good job for you.”
“The way to understand the job goes through your own life, your own way. The more you understand it, the more you will know the job and will get the power to act upon it. “
“But I can’t live without you. How can I be?”
“You need not to be. I am always there with you, everywhere only I exist. One day I will appear in sight through your own eyes. Wait for the day…….. “
He fell silent. This way the fight ended. And still I am worrying that though I am ageing 41 years, how much mature I should be?????????
Posted on 10 February 2008
Here it goes how this fight started and ended and you may find the reason.
I was sitting in my room, silent, just to be with my own self, that is what I have offered him as a place to come so I could talk to HIM. The moment I remembered him, tears started flowing from my eyes. Don’t know why I get only tears to offer him. I asked him as my tears were coming down silently – “Why you have kept me in such a place where I don’t find a moment of comfort and peace? You know well I am always with your will and do what ever you want me to do. I am always ready to do what you say, and never complain what comes in my way. It is your wish and you know I love fulfilling your wishes. But tell me; just tell me, how can I live without seeing you? It is the only pleasure for me that can give me strength and power to act as per your wishes. And you want me to be alone here, living without your sight?? It is being unbearable now; I want nothing but to be with you, keep my head on your lap and go to sleep, deep sleep, never to wake up again. Now the works you want me to do, are being so difficult, so heavy, these are just out of my capacity. Tell me, no one cares for me apart from you, and now you are forgetting me. Whom I can ask but you? Tell me where can I go? “
“I am always with you dear. Why are you being so desperate? “
“You are not, I never see you, and without seeing you, I am unable to do anything “.
“You are here to do some jobs only you can do. That is why I have kept you here. The problems, the restlessness, the pain you are facing, are just some clues. With the help of them you will be able to understand your job and will work upon it. It is necessary or I could never let it happen.”
“What kind of a job it can be which needs so much trouble and pain without even acting upon the job? You are just kidding me, you still think I am a kid you will tell any fairy tale and I will accept it?”
“The way to understand the job goes through this all dear. Why you suspect it? Until it comes to your way, you will not be able to understand. The moment you will see the sight of me, you will forget your job that is why I am hidden from you. Do you think I don’t love you?”
“Yes, now I think so, you don’t love me, and I can’t live without you ……..”
“Do you love your kids?”
“Yes I do.”
“Then why do you send them to other cities, why do you send them even school?”
“They have to learn something so they can be self-dependent and live with respect.”
“And why do you tell your elder kid to take care of younger one while you are busy with something?”
“Because I love all my kids, and I don’t want my younger ones to suffer only because they are younger and they don’t know how to work for them. So I assign some job to my elder kids. “
Don’t they feel problem performing the work, taking care of younger sibling?”
“Yes, they do, but they love me and they love siblings, so they do it “
“Do they complain about it?”
“Yes, sometimes, but I am always here with them. If they need me, I am here. “
“So tell me, if only because they have to work, they have to go outside and live without you, they have to learn something that requires hard work, and does it mean that you don’t love them?”
"No, I love them, no other way I could think about them, they are my own.”
“So dear, you know what I mean. I have faith in you, that is why I have assigned some jobs to you. But to perform the job, you have to go through some tough times. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you. I love you so much that I feel comfortable assigning some of my responsibilities to you. There are my other kids; you need to do some work for them. But my love is always with you. Parents love all kids in equal way, but the ones who take some responsibilities of their parents out of their love for parents, are more close to parents.”
“I am unable to understand how can I perform any job when I am unable to take my own responsibility. I am unable to live here where you are not present. No one cares for me, and now you also don’t ……… “
“Who says no one cares for you? The ones you care for, do they understand what you do for them? They are little ones; they are not able to understand. Once they grow, they will know. Like wise you are not able to see you are being taken care of. My other children are taking care of you and they are always with you, I am always with you. “
“But I am unable to see you, and this is the reason I don’t find any comfort, any peace anywhere…..how I will be able to do any good for anyone?’
“You don’t see me, because you are not mature enough to stand with your job, with yourself after seeing me. You need to work out your jobs. I am always here; like a mother hides from the sight when her kid starts going to school, so he won’t start weeping for mother, and stop going school, I am hidden from you. The moment you have learnt and mature enough you will be able to see me everywhere.”
“Really?”
“Yes”.
“And what is the job assigned to me? I don’t see any reason, any power in me to perform any good job for you.”
“The way to understand the job goes through your own life, your own way. The more you understand it, the more you will know the job and will get the power to act upon it. “
“But I can’t live without you. How can I be?”
“You need not to be. I am always there with you, everywhere only I exist. One day I will appear in sight through your own eyes. Wait for the day…….. “
He fell silent. This way the fight ended. And still I am worrying that though I am ageing 41 years, how much mature I should be?????????
Posted on 10 February 2008
Labels: Romance with GOD
posted by Kabeer @ 12:57 AM
2 Comments
2 Comments:
Wow!! Dear I really felt he was talking, this is superb, I loved this fight :-)
GOD BLESS!!
It was beautiful...like the fights i usually have with HIM ...and like the feeling i m always left with..how much more??
thanks.... :)
so i m not alone...:)
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