Self talks
Parenting is not an easy task, specially when you are stuck in so many problems mostly financial. When I was full of fantasies, ideas and hobbies, I couldn't afford doing a single one for me, and slowly all of them are either faded away, died or suppressed.
Keeping it in mind, when I think about my kids, full of talent and enthusiasm and when i can't afford doing bare minimum for them leave apart what their hobbies, desires and fantasies are...it is more than a heartache...a pain that can't be told...to none.
I see this and bear it all in my heart. And then I see above and ask my heavenly Father - “Do you also feel that much pain when we suffer here and can't get enough for our soul?"
Scene 1
Today kids have lots of fantasies and desires which they need to be immediately fulfilled. Market is full of new things and there is lot more to teenage eyes.
When a parent fails to fulfill kids' demands, he or she looses respect in kids' eyes. Kids think that parents don't love them or they could do it all for them.
Keeping on bare minimum what I could do, not even giving time, I see my kids are not having such thoughts. They have lots of desires, fantasies and dreams which they would love to do, but if I can't provide it to them, they know exactly that I am doing my best and they live in whatever condition I put them in. Sometimes it is even living in isolation because they can't compete the society demands. But they never question.
Ramkrishna had one famous symbol regarding how we should surrender and devote to Lord. It is about Cat's kids. The kids don't know whether their mother keeps them on garbage or puts them on king's bed. Cat keeps moving them where she finds fit and safe, mostly by holding them by mouth. But they don't ask why, where and why not. When they feel urge of something, they just cry out - "mew, mew."
My kids follow the same practice, they don't ask anyone else but to me.
Do I really have that much surrender to my Heavenly Father? I doubt it. My kids teach me how to have full faith on whom I call my Father.
Scene-2
My elder daughter Neha was going to Hostel for College...so far that from here I couldn't be any help from so much distance. Worrying about her well being, I slipped Babaji's one pic in her handbag and said-" Whenever you feel any problem, any trouble, first pray to Babaji and ask for the help. Call me later on as anyway I can't come to you instantly but HE will hear instantly and will help you out."
After few days, when I talked to her I asked whether she was praying to Babaji or not. Then I added-" But do it only when you have faith and trust in HIM. Don't do it because I ask you to do. I don't want to project any of my beliefs unto you."
She laughed and said -" Oh Mom, it is ok. I have faith and trust in you."
She meant that whatever I will say will be based upon some truth, will be for her good and she doesn't have any question on it.
Do we really have that much faith on our heavenly father that whatever he does or asks us to do is for our own good and there is no question mark on it?
I doubt on myself.
Scene-3
My son is still in his sixteen, but not like the kids of his age he is full of fantasies. He has lots of ideas and fantasies which may make him feel better when materialized, but he never expresses it, because he knows my situation. No demand, no query or no questions. His whole energy goes in philosophical thinking.
One day after coming back from school, he was full of thought and said - "Mom, you know how lucky we are to have values in our life. We got it from you. When I see kids of my school and others of my age, they are so much ignorant they don't know what they are doing and why. Some have already started smoking just because they think they are grown up. This is their way to show and feel good. There is nothing charming or good in smoking but they think they are doing something important and they do it. I am so much lucky to have values and to know what I should do and what I should not."
That day I felt like my whole effort in parenting has not gone in vein, although in worldly eyes, I have done not so much for my kids, but if they value what ever I could do, that is all what really matters.
But soon I question myself-" Do I really value of having a Heavenly Father which takes care of not only my body but my heart and soul? Do I not feel discouraged sometimes and feel like I am lost? My kids are better in valuing what they have rather than crying over what they don't have.
When I will be mature enough like my kids?
Keeping it in mind, when I think about my kids, full of talent and enthusiasm and when i can't afford doing bare minimum for them leave apart what their hobbies, desires and fantasies are...it is more than a heartache...a pain that can't be told...to none.
I see this and bear it all in my heart. And then I see above and ask my heavenly Father - “Do you also feel that much pain when we suffer here and can't get enough for our soul?"
Scene 1
Today kids have lots of fantasies and desires which they need to be immediately fulfilled. Market is full of new things and there is lot more to teenage eyes.
When a parent fails to fulfill kids' demands, he or she looses respect in kids' eyes. Kids think that parents don't love them or they could do it all for them.
Keeping on bare minimum what I could do, not even giving time, I see my kids are not having such thoughts. They have lots of desires, fantasies and dreams which they would love to do, but if I can't provide it to them, they know exactly that I am doing my best and they live in whatever condition I put them in. Sometimes it is even living in isolation because they can't compete the society demands. But they never question.
Ramkrishna had one famous symbol regarding how we should surrender and devote to Lord. It is about Cat's kids. The kids don't know whether their mother keeps them on garbage or puts them on king's bed. Cat keeps moving them where she finds fit and safe, mostly by holding them by mouth. But they don't ask why, where and why not. When they feel urge of something, they just cry out - "mew, mew."
My kids follow the same practice, they don't ask anyone else but to me.
Do I really have that much surrender to my Heavenly Father? I doubt it. My kids teach me how to have full faith on whom I call my Father.
Scene-2
My elder daughter Neha was going to Hostel for College...so far that from here I couldn't be any help from so much distance. Worrying about her well being, I slipped Babaji's one pic in her handbag and said-" Whenever you feel any problem, any trouble, first pray to Babaji and ask for the help. Call me later on as anyway I can't come to you instantly but HE will hear instantly and will help you out."
After few days, when I talked to her I asked whether she was praying to Babaji or not. Then I added-" But do it only when you have faith and trust in HIM. Don't do it because I ask you to do. I don't want to project any of my beliefs unto you."
She laughed and said -" Oh Mom, it is ok. I have faith and trust in you."
She meant that whatever I will say will be based upon some truth, will be for her good and she doesn't have any question on it.
Do we really have that much faith on our heavenly father that whatever he does or asks us to do is for our own good and there is no question mark on it?
I doubt on myself.
Scene-3
My son is still in his sixteen, but not like the kids of his age he is full of fantasies. He has lots of ideas and fantasies which may make him feel better when materialized, but he never expresses it, because he knows my situation. No demand, no query or no questions. His whole energy goes in philosophical thinking.
One day after coming back from school, he was full of thought and said - "Mom, you know how lucky we are to have values in our life. We got it from you. When I see kids of my school and others of my age, they are so much ignorant they don't know what they are doing and why. Some have already started smoking just because they think they are grown up. This is their way to show and feel good. There is nothing charming or good in smoking but they think they are doing something important and they do it. I am so much lucky to have values and to know what I should do and what I should not."
That day I felt like my whole effort in parenting has not gone in vein, although in worldly eyes, I have done not so much for my kids, but if they value what ever I could do, that is all what really matters.
But soon I question myself-" Do I really value of having a Heavenly Father which takes care of not only my body but my heart and soul? Do I not feel discouraged sometimes and feel like I am lost? My kids are better in valuing what they have rather than crying over what they don't have.
When I will be mature enough like my kids?
posted by Kabeer @ 1:06 AM
2 Comments
2 Comments:
Lovely post di,
really, do we have that much in us in regard to our father? once i read, that kids teach us so much. patience, forgiveness etc. if only we can look out of our ego of being adults n grown ups. and supposedly teaching kids, not being taught by them. i personally love the forgiveness rule which kids can teach us. they forgive n forget so quickly.
lovely post.
Thanks for your words Roohi...
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